Rappers Retirement Homes #4

We always knew that the trio of Andy Cooper, Dizzy Dustin and Young Einstein were obsessed with food – why else name an LP ‘Taste The Secret’ and base it around the concept of a drink called ‘Meatshake’? – but they live it like they talk it. With the $3M advance they got from multinational big player Bad Magic records, they invested in their own neighbourhood family restaurant on Wembley Park Drive. Here, Andy provides front of house while Dizzy Dustin puts his oenology training to use as chief sommelier. Is Young Einstein the chef? Actually, no, he just does the pots, they’ve got an acclaimed international chef who worked under Gordon Ramsay and did a stint at the River Cafe.
The restaurant is a big success with the locals who book early for dishes like Apple Pie a la Fresh Mode, Pie on the Gold Chain and The Pike, while the crew have made sure they’ve themed the restaurant thoroughly around their own careers. Thus, when you call to book, you can only book for ‘Friday Night’ and forks are referred to as ‘Pick Up Tines’. And so on. All in all, it’s a great example of a rap group branching out successfully. Now all they need to do is update that old-ass ‘081’ telephone number and stomp to tha 90’s with an ‘020’ joint and Michelin stars will surely follow.

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2 Responses to "Rappers Retirement Homes #4"
  1. Reply moyinka September 24, 2007 07:53 am

    very funny, ‘pie on the gold chain’ is the best one.

  2. Reply oleg September 24, 2007 08:07 am

    i’ve actually eaten at this place. Dizzy recommended the ‘sucker alligator SoufflĂ©’ which was excellent

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