Crap Graf #3

‘Speaking About A Girl Named Zoe’ by Skare

Skare, not to be confused with UK legend Skore, revels in the nickmane ‘Hispanic Causin’ Panic. In Shrewsbury’. This is one of his rare pieces with a title in English. Most of his work is definitively Spanish, with any writer worth their salt inspired by classics like ‘No es acceptable para me asi’ and ‘Haber Comer’. He first Anglocised his work with the timeless ‘Pour out a little Txacoli’. Of course, anyone familiar with the man, the myth, will know that he hasn’t been to Spain – Clacton is as far as he’s wandered – has rudimentary Spanish learned from a Michel Thomas tape (he has parts 1 and 3) and is a 12-year-old boy. Still, legends abound. Did he really tag up the loos of the La Tasca tapas bar in Shrewsbury? Did he really invent a new paint colour for Krylon using the paprika-tinted orange juices left over after frying off Chorizo? And did he paint this after on-off girlfriend Zoe told the entire school that he was rubbish at fingering her? We can only confirm the last of these, and our Crap Graf experts are currently trying to track down a rumoured masterwork thrown up after she then added, “And he doesn’t know how to tit me up proper neither.”

Zoe Puta

One Response to "Crap Graf #3"
  1. Reply Dan Large September 26, 2007 03:32 am

    Drew, it’s funny that your ex-girlfriend was called Zoe. And you recently vacationed in Ibiza. And you just bought a new camera. And a Catalan dictionary. Hmmm.

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