It has been a few minutes since we blessed you – atchoo – with a Rappers Retirement Home update, but that’s because rappers just don’t fuckin’ retire any more. Once upon a time, you could rely on an MC to take the 542 sales of his latest project on the chin and go back to movin’ birds like a Bill Oddie guff. Now they try and collaborate with the younger generation/go on to twitter to diss the younger generation/ give tours of their shitty neighbourhoods where something interesting once happened. Everyone’s a multi-tasker and multi-hyphenate these days, and none more so than our man to the man to the man DJ Yoda.

Yoda is Fat Lace famalam to the death, joining the crew when he was an aspiring mixtape DJ with Frank Oz’s hand up his arse. Now he gets paid £8M per year for splicing the ‘Chocky’s Children’ theme with the intro from ‘Ulysses’ to provide a new soundtrack for a live screening of the ‘Lemon Popsicle’ movies at the O2. He’s so successful that we even heard a black person turned up at one of his shows. So what to do with all that money?

Well, since the market for frozen orange juice futures is particularly rocky at the moment, Yoda has sunk his money into beauty therapy in Spain, figuring ‘Dem Spanish chicas is damn hairy, yo’. His words. Massages, depilation, eyebrow threading and plucking, all that shit. We’re not sure if things get all ‘happy ending a la Brenda in ‘Six Feet Under’, but as long as it’s not the homunculus on the shop sign doing the rub-and-tug, we’re down for whatever.

Back in the day, any football team that dipped into financial peril would have a news story written about it “exclusively revealing” that Colonel Gaddafi was linked with a move for the club. Those days are long gone now, and instead The Sun is exclusively revealing that Sean Coombs briefly considered buying out Portsmouth before being moved into a bid for Crystal Palace “because he liked the name”. The differences between Gaddafi and Diddy couldn’t be clearer: one is a power-crazed relic of a degenerate period in their country’s history who someone still clings to power because he ordered the murders of his closest associates in order to stay on the throne, and the other is P Diddy.

Anyway, a more socially conscious website would now move into talking about how this is a negative development, that foreign investment by playboys in British football is stripping clubs of their identity, causing financial irregularities in the short-term and financial meltdown in the long-term, and inevitably ushering in an Americanised-system of closed-shop franchises. However, we’re not that website, you know how we do at Fat Lace, and therefore…..

The Croydon Killuminati
This Means Warnock
Poppin’ Them Coppells
Nah Wright
The Humpty Danns
What you know about the dirty Southgate?
Clint Cypress Hill
Suga Freedman
Ready to N’Diaye
Shorty Lombardo

Also bonus points for anyone who puts together a Youtube video of Victor Moses passes with “I’ll Be Missing You” played over the top.

When Robbie at Unkut posted his interview with Markey Fresh we were gripped. The man behind one of our favourite joints ‘The Mack Of Rap’ and ‘The King Is Here’. What? No one can test those two.  But would the ‘Once Again It’s On EP’ be released? Would it transpire he was J Zone’s ghost writer? Is his real name really Mark F. Resh? No, it wasn’t that interesting but the comments that followed were by far the best thing about the article and that’s nothing against you Robbie, fresh as always. To cut to the chase, Lord Alibaski chips in to call Markey Fresh a fraud and invalidates anything he says in the interview.  The climax comes when Markey Fresh refers to the Lord as ‘Alibumski’. We had to laugh. To make it easy we’ve pasted the interesting comments below. Thanks to one of the comments Markey even jumped on to yours truly and commented on our 100% gods honest truth story about fellow Flavor Unit member Double J.

Markey Fresh ‘The Mack Of Rap’

Mack Of Rap

Markey Fresh ‘The Mack Of Rap’ (45 King Remix)

Mack Of Rap Remix

VS.

Lord Alibumski ‘Crunch Time’

Crunch Time

READ COMMENTS AFTER THE JUMP….

Whats up everybody this is MARKEY FRESH thanks for all the comments. yall make me wanna go into the studio and make some new songs! thanks again robbie, anytime you need me just call. THE MACK OF RAP.
Comment by mercedes1010 02.21.10 @

Robbie, just because you get to the Easter Egg hunt first, does’nt mean you gonna find the most eggs. Also, mad artist frequent The 45 Kings basement for what ever reason they were there for!!! Just because you was down there don’t make you “Flavor Unit”!!! You are not gonna hear a lot of people who was down there, “first”, mentioned in the same sentence with the “Original Flavor Unit”!! Latee created the “Flavor Unit” derrived from his single, “This Cutz Got Flava”!! And he brought along a Gang of raw ass M.C.’s for which “The Muthafuckin Human Body Chart Ali Ba-Ski was one of them!!! Marky took 45 King tracks to Red to make Marky look good!!! Wack is what Wack do!! As far as the comment about Apache and smoking too many cigarettes, you got fuckin jokes!! Apache gave his life to Christ immediately after he disappeared from the limelight! If you don’t know Apache, keep Apache name out your Muthafuckin mouth!! He did what he had to do after his dilemma, got his weight down, stopped smoking for like years, and moved to PA peacefully!! This was a wack interview Robbie, but you gotta put out the wack with the good!!
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.24.10 @

Ali ba ski, it sounds like you got alot of hate in your heart. Anger cause stress which leads to high blood preasure and heart attacks. Life is 2short. P.s i was never apart of flavor unit and never wil be. And your right, markey is gonna make markey look good. Aint nobody else gonna do it. Have a nice day ali ba ski
Comment by mercedes1010 02.24.10 @

Let me correct you. Hate, heart attacks, high blood pressure, the sun, the stars, the moon, and quazars had nothing to do with what’s really real! You based the last time you saw Apache as the reason he passed. If hate applies to me, then hell yeah based on your comment. All you had to do was do the math on him, so you would have known! But I guess it sounds like you got a lot of hate in your heart, since Apache got his shine and you did’nt! Which leads to high blood pressure, heart attacks, and a history of wack rhymes!!! Ali Ba-Ski was never one to feel like rap was gonna feed me. I’ve been doin’ my thing for 22 yrs and them same Cats who thought rap was gonna feed them, got jobs now, lmao!! You gotta be shittin me! Robbie, thanks, but no thanks! Aint shit to talk about!!!
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.24.10 @

Alibaski, your real funny the sun moon and stars and talkin about i got jokes? Listen, you do what you do and im gonna do what i do . To be honest everybody ali ba ski dont know me and i dont know him, we never really kicked like that. So for him throw all these darts at me is crazy. Once again thanks for all the comments. MARKEY FRESH*
Comment by mercedes1010 02.24.10 @

Yeah man. Yo, he smoked too many cigarettes, man. That’s what it was. His weight just went so high. All that hard, fast living just caught-up with him. He said that, not me! Apache was my first cousin. My Mother’s Sister Son! Apache is no longer with us, but I’m here and I listen and read! Sun never did the MATH!! CrateDigga 78, it would be a no contest!!! MF, you right! Not even a whole paragragh of conversation back in the days. You said what you said!!
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.25.10 @

I dont want to talk about APACHE because he is not here to defend his self but even tho he did quit smoking and drinking the damage to his heart was already done, it was the long term effect that caused the health problems. i never said nothing bad about him. i knew Apache very well, we made hundreds of demo tapes in the basement, got high together, and played basketball together. C.DIGGA78, before i battle Alibaski, ASK HIM HOW MUCH MONEY HE GOT! I WILL BE MORE THEN HAPPY TO TAKE THAT SHIT!! LMAO!!!
Comment by mercedes1010 02.25.10 @

Double J comes into the fold

What ever happened to Double J?
Comment by Blowyabackout 02.25.10 @

Im double J, one of the original Flavor Unit members,and i was there, and still here.the same things that would draw people to or away from the Flavor Unit then is the same things NOW..Robbie Holla..
Comment by Doub 02.25.10 @

Looking forward to hearing that story, in the meantime, Unkut readers might want to check out this “article” for some Double J tracks:

http://fatlacemagazine.com/2007/10/rappers-retirement-homes-5/

Comment by CrateDigga78 02.25.10 @

Marcus Fresh, I’ve been on the job for 22 years and I don’t mean rap scrub!! You was always wack! Come and get it baby! Everytime you was down in the basement and we came through, I always wondered why you left! I never heard you on a track, tape, cassette, or anything with Apache that he let us hear. And I heard everything Marcus Fresh. Lakim, Doub J, Latee, and Chill Rob G Sun! No One ever passed you a mic! When we came stompin through, you had something to do, lmao! You were the epidemy of the word “Wack” and had the nerve to bite the hands (45 King) that fed yo “Wack” ass, lol. I will smash you in a rhyme fight or any other form of engagement! The people who liked you then, probably like Drake now! I’ll get back at you, gotta get back to work. You know, shot callin’! Hey Doub, what up real Emcee?
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.25.10 @

Ali baski, nigga please!! You were never in the basement when i was there!! Lying ass fraud! I dont even know what your monkey ass looks like! And i never bit the hand that fed me, w.t.f is your drunk dumb ass talkin about?! Your a hatin ass bitter motherfucka! Fall back old clown and get off my dick!! Your trash!! Alibaski, garbage!! Stupid ass!!
Comment by mercedes1010 02.25.10 @

I typed in “The Mack of Rap” on YouTube!
But when I clicked on the link, it was’nt YouDude,
Mike Morrison came up, “Return of The Mack,
now you show up, “Return of The Wack”,
I see I got under your skin, so much profanity, I’ll have your bitch ass running around, lookin like Vanity,
First to come in the basement, first one to leave,
Somebody pass the mic to Marky, oh he left,
Nigga please!
All you’re known for is disappearing acts with your wack as rhymes,
It’s hard to battle Sissy’s who disappeared all the time,
Pussy!!! Bring It!
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.25.10 @

I know what this is all about now. Alibaski is lookin for some attention. LOL! did you forget to take your bi polor medication? like i said before get off my dick goofy clown. your such a slob alibaski.
Comment by mercedes1010 02.26.10 @
C.dig, if he would of spoke the truth about me in all his comments, i would battle him. But he just told lie after lie and one thing i cant stand is a lier. I dont fuck with bum ass clowns like alibaski, i have no respect for him and i refuse to lower myself to his level. Alibaski is a old bitter goofy bum ass clown. A real slob. Maybe if he can bet 5stacks, i will do it. My time is money, i dont do this for fun no more. Its not a game.
Comment by mercedes1010 02.26.10 @

Do you hear Marky Fresh records playing on the radio every day! Hell no!! He does not have a job, talking about betting stacks! Where is your income coming from? You a fraud ass fag! You don’t have any cheddar Son! Watch the way I spell Son, pussy. You are not worth a battle Marcus Fresh. Your rhymes are straight Puss! Mark tracks carried 99% of the cuts you did with him! All you had to do was burp on his track and the beat would have done the rest. That’s why it’s ok to make beats for Wack muthafuckas, lmao!! You a straight up Herb ass bitch, stylin on some bitch e-mail!! I’ll probably punch you in your fuckin face before I battle you! You disappearing act ass fag! Your old dumb ass still waiting for rap to feed you, lmao!! I’ll have to write your rhymes for you to battle me, lmao!!! You have no fire and like I said, I’ll probably punch you in your gay ass mouth before I battle you!!
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.26.10 @

He gave Robbie his number to give to me, so we can work it out! I’m gonna call you, so I can find you, so i can knock you out!!! Lmao!
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.26.10 @

This is my last comment Marcus Fresh fans, then you can have him!! Me and him can’t battle. I can’t write mine and his lyrics, lmao!! But for putting Apache name in his bitch ass mouth, just put your hands up when I see you! If your knuckle work is anything like your lyrics, you in trouble!! My knuckle work is way up, but that is just me talking! I can show you, better than I can tell you!!!
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.26.10 @

LOL!!! alibumski, i never ask you to call me so we can work it out. again here we go with the lies. instead of get off my dick, suck my my dick! old bitter ass goofy clown.fuck you! you aint shit, your trash alibumski. internet thug! LOL!! Now you wanna fight me? take your bi polor medication and sit your monkey ass down! you played yourself so hard with all that hate, i know frustrated that your basketball career failed and then you tried to be a rapper and that didnt work now your a bum ass nigga! you need to punch yourself in the mouth and shut the fuck up! i got 99 problems aint you aint one. im not worried about doing anything to me just keep ridin my dick, i love it!!!
Comment by mercedes1010 02.26.10 @

Alibumski, i got 99 problems and you aint one. Im not worried about you doing anything to me just keep ridin my dick, i love it!!!
Comment by mercedes1010 02.26.10 @

Alibumski, you said you was gonna call me so you can find me and knock me out? Im waiting for that call!! If you lost my number, get it from robbie. Albumski, dont bitch up now. You make me laugh so hard, clown!!
Comment by mercedes1010 02.26.10 @

Beatlover, do the Math! The site is called Unkut.com. Robbie is in charge. You think if he don’t like the comments he can’t delete them? This Junky, Dopefiend, Dust Head ass cat violated,even if you don’t think he did! I make over $100,000 in my craft yearly and Rap has always been recreation for me. I won’t ever lose no sleep. But I stay sharp for Junky Muthafuckas! Leave me alone and I will never lose any sleep. And he know me well!! He’s afraid of me and the truth hurts!!
Comment by Ali Ba-Ski 02.27.10 @

Alibumski, here we go with more of your sorry ass lies, i dont know you and you dont know me! Whats wrong? You dont have nothing better to do? Poor baby, i feel sorry for you alibumski. You have serious mental problems and you need help. Bi polor medication and crack dont go together, stop smokin that shit. Goofy clown!
Comment by mercedes1010 02.27.10 @

Beatlover, 1st of all markey fresh dont have nothing to prove. 2nd, he aint nothing but a waste time. Anybody who resorts to violence is not on my level. Im bigger then that, i think before i speak and before i take action. I dont have nothing to hide and reason to lie. Alibumski likes to talk shit about me to make his self look good. Hate will get you nothing out of life. Time to grow up alibumski.
Comment by mercedes1010 02.27.10 @

Whenever Liverpool get a flukey refereeing decision to win a game, you can guarantee Rafa Benitez will stand there in the post-match interview barely able to conceal his smugness as he pontificates that, yes, Carragher handballed it but these things always have a way of evening themselves out over the course of a season as Liverpool will be sure to get some future decisions going against them.

Although he’s sure to piss and moan about the future decisions going against them when they actually occur as witnessed on sunday, he may have a point. Benitez may not know jackshit about orchestrating a team to premiership victory (or, indeed, the Champions League : Harry Kewell to start?) but the ludicrously goateed buffoon does seem to have a grasp on the cruel, course-correcting nature of the rap game, where the only place you’re gonna be around next year is the mop bucket at your local fast-food emporium.

Example numero uno : You can condemn poor old K. Solo to the rap-scrapheap when you nick perfectly fine Erick Sermon beats from him and waste them as you then proceed to spit your asinine yippedy-yabbedy, dibba-dabba-dinosaur Scatman John nonsense all over them and go on to spoil equally accomplished DJ Premier, Easy Mo Bee and Pete Rock beats in much the same intolerable way but, eventually, the career which has kept you in a life of endless M-65 jackets and the Cat In The Hat Dr Seuss books you bite your rhymes from will come to a close when karma catches up with you and consigns your ass to the welfare line and nights spent sleeping in your automobile after wifey has kicked you out for wasting your seed’s college money  to fund your terrible 2003 comeback album. An admittably nice automobile with personalised numberplates, but an automobile nontheless.

Which was the best use of ‘Blind Man Can See It’ by James Brown?

Diggedy Das EFX

das-efx-they-want-efx-92

vs.

Riggedy Robert Hall

03-funky-technician-1

Yeah, we said it. If you’ve heard the new album, you know what we’re saying. Hands down. Bring on Relapse 2. Eminem over Alchemist / Emile > Dre right now. Let’s hope he takes it there.

Big up the mans dem Tobes & Yoda for their next mix tape instalment. “Think Bobby Brown cruising for chicks in a 1989 Testarossa and Mike Tyson riding shotgun with a white baby tiger on his lap”. Think? That’s how we live e’ydayyyy.

Cop HERE

We even trainspotted the cover from the Around The Way Girl 12″.

Our first BIG post today is dedicated to the Notorious one. We’ve not seen the film, nor do we particularly want to see it. Really, what’s the point? Maybe we’ve grown up and have zero interest in a modern portrayal of BIG, we felt his records in ’94, by ’96 we were done. He was a dope rapper and will always be remembered for that but it’s hard to intellectualise him as an artist. Despite his greatness, let’s face it, the real story behind his death is actually more intriguing than Biggie as an individual. We’ll stick to nerding out with some obscure vinyl only highlights or as we more famously did in Issue #2 of Fat Lace Magazine, perform an autopsy on him. Before he was killed might we add.

OK, maybe we’ll probe a little deeper in his defence. In our comments section we were alerted to this article from The Guardian online. The piece obviously written from a ‘Eurocentric’ view point does raise some interesting issues but misses the point entirely, that rap is entertainment. Biggie is often placed on a pedestal but Biggie as a character was portrayed by the actor Christopher Wallace. He was probably an occasional drug dealer at worst before he rapped, nothing more. He was then exploited like most artists, only then enabling his lyrical fantasies to become reality. Scarface was put on a pedestal but we’ll bet money that the Harlem born Al Pacino was a small time hustler of sorts at some point in his life before the papes came. When Rudy Giuliani became mayor of New York we’re certain the Mafia didn’t suddenly stop their prostitution rackets because they had a high profile role model. The Guardian piece just demonises Rap. It’s no better than a tabloid headline about Snoop. Sure, the self-esteem of many African Americans and beyond just got a shot in the arm and that will reap dividends but you can’t blame the actions of Biggie and the generations of young Black men before him on the fact that America didn’t have a Black President. America has a Black President now so suddenly people won’t shoot each other and health care will be free. Yeah right. Notorious is an appreciation of a great entertainer, a fairly poor appreciation by all accounts but an appreciation nonetheless and as we all know martyrdom amplifies the achievements of all great human beings. The 2Pac feature length will no doubt come. Now if Obama’s position manifests real societal change that will be welcomed by all but we’ll still want to be entertained. We’ll still take De La Soul and Geto Boys in equal measures.

Now the nerd-out…

Party & Bullshit (Album Version)

party-album

Party & Bullshit (Puffy Mix)

party-puff

Party & Bullshit (Lord Finesse Mix)

party-lord

More B.I.G. after the jump….

Pudgee feat B.I.G. & Lord Tariq ‘Think Big’ (test pressing only release)

think-big

Da Brat feat B.I.G. – ‘Dirty B Side’

dirty

We’re back with some more teary eyed nostalgia, this time Sylvia Robinson’s business card. Needless to say she’s no longer maintaining in the Garden State, she’s maintaining her garden because it’s in a state, living large off all those royalties she probably didn’t pay to Master Gee and them lot. Strange that for such a legendary artist stable their catalogue is devoid of any particularly interesting rarities. Mind you, that’s probably because every record was a hit out the back bone and they didn’t have time to think about what thirty something spods would care to revere 20 years later. The most interesting record we found was a test pressing of 8th Wonder which included an instrumental. We thought of some though, so Sylvia, if you’re reading, how about repressing that Brazillian version of ‘Rappers Delight’ on a green vinyl. What the hell does she care, it’s probably the most famous rap record ever and most of us are still busy still hunting down whatever over priced crap DJ Ivory put on his CD’s.

The Sugarhill Gang – 8th Wonder

03-various-artists-the-sugar-hill-gang-8th-wonder

Tragedy a.k.a. Intelligent Hoodlum’s first incarnation was part of a group called Super Kids alongside DJ Hot Day. Here’s their first 12″ and we also posted ‘Super Kids Live’ on Hot Day Records. See more on Hot Day HERE. As part of Diggers With Grattitude’s commitment to mining unreleased gems, they’re about to release a follow up to their Lung Butters CD, Main Source 7″ and the already classic unreleased Unique EP. The latest release is an EP of unreleased Cold Chillin’ tracks including music by Super Kids, Kool G Rap and Big Daddy Kane. It’s already sold out so your best bet is eBay when it drops.

Super Kids – The Tragedy

the-tragedy

Super Kids – Stunt of The Block (DWG Exclusive)

super-kids-stunt-of-the-block-fat-lace

The Super Kids Live at Hip-Hop U.S.A.

super-kids-live-at-hip-hop-usa

Statik Selektah & Termanology are 1982 – ‘Thugathon’ ft Lil Fame of M.O.P.

01-thugathon-ft-lil-fame-of-mop