Didn’t they ever fucking read Fat Lace Issue 3? (Click image to enlarge)

You know that sense of minor dread you get when it’s time to hand in your answer sheet in a pub quiz and realise that, despite the fact your table was able to remember to remember what the first #1 single of the 2000s was and recognised both Brian Deane and Celia Hammond in the picture round, you still weren’t able to come up with a better name than “Quizteam-a Aguilera”.

Rich-ass podgy rappers don’t need to worry about such fripperies though, as they have a fanbase more than happy to do the work for them. Method Man, Raekwon and Ghostface have formed a supergroup, which is cool because I’m pretty sure they’ve never worked together before and it’s lucky they’ve formed a specific vehicle to record tracks together for the first time in their entire lifespans. And instead of taking the pub quiz route of naming their team after a pithy zing of a recently deceased celebrity (“Miep Gies: Ash In The Attic”, for instance), they can just ask their fanbase to come up with suggestions via Twitter. We offered up “Aileen Wu-Nos”, “With Wus You Lose” and “The Hip Hop Raconteurs”, all options we thoroughly expect to see shortlisted. However, other rap fans have other ideas.

Here are a list of actual real suggested names that actual real rap fans actually really thought might be a good sobriquet for a Blaze/Diamond/Starks hook-up:

- Methodical Iron Lung (Worth noting solely for the fact that the same guy made a second suggestion two minutes later: “Damn I meant to write Methodical Iron Linx)

- Hello From Germany (I dunno if this was some Berliner not realising exactly what was going on, or whether someone was hoping that MM, R & G would be taking a vaguely new romantic sound on that the band name “Hello From Germany” seems to suggest)

- Staten Quo (You were expecting us to make a “Maybe they could flip a ‘You’re In The Army Now’ sample here” gag, huh? We’re not going to point out that Americans have no idea who Status Quo are… this actually means that people have already forgotten who Stat Quo was as well. And after all those slightly less-than-mediocre mixtape tracks he did with Bobby Creekwater….)

- Devil Rayz (Sounds like one of those awful fake surf rock acts you get playing at fucking awful “vintage” “car” “conventions” full of douchebags in bowling shirts and broads who’ve taken a few hours off from their sub-Babestation gig to slap on a Bette Page fringe and pretend they’re “into” “the” “vintage” “lifestyle” for a few hours)

- More CREAM (Insert your own “pause” gag here. Similarly for the people who suggested “Three The Hard Way” (could  have sworn I saw Joanna Angel in that a few months back), The Three Swordsmen and Wu-Skeeters)

- Daisy Jones (No, me neither. I tried Googling Daisy Jones and all I found was the Myspace of one of those 19-year-old art student-y looking broads who are cute-but-probably-tedious-irl who get their baps out in Front Magazine)

- Darts of Glory (Man, the idea of Peter Manley and Jackpot Lewis doing a “torture, motherfucker, torture”-esque skit detailing how they’re gonna apply a belt sander to Phil Taylor’s scrotal sac… that, to me, is the future of rap)

- The Magnificent Butchers (A side note, I appreciate, but the fuck is up with halal butchers always playing Akon? Ain’t nothing “magnificent” about that)

- Three Ninjas (OK, seriously, you’re just taking the piss now. The old dude from the Three Ninjas movie died September 12, 2001, in case you were wondering why you never saw his obituary)

- eMeRGe (because it has their initials in. Do you see? Possible other names on this theme include GruMpy, MoRtGage Endownment Policy, and MaRGarita Pracatan)

Words by Dom Grande