Rapper’s Retirement Homes
One of the biggest mysteries in hip-hop over the last 10 years is, ‘how the fuck is KRS still getting paid?’ (apart from the obvious – letting out space in his nostrils to paying tenants) Let’s put our cards on the table, dude is one the best to ever do it. A legend, an innovator, a man responsible for dozens if not scores of our favourite hip-hop songs ever but, fuck us, his last few albums have stunk the place up. We also have a supplementary question: If Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone, who are the few people knowledge doesn’t reign supreme over? Are they members of the general public, or is it just Robocop and Harmony and ‘em?
Anyhoo, Kris must be skint from literally having to pay people to listen to ‘Maximum Strength’ and ‘Hip-Hop Lives’. Not to mention ‘Life’. You sure that’s the same guy who did ‘Slippin’? So, it turns out Mr. Parker has got a side business, providing competitively priced plumbing service to the people of England (which goes some way to explaining how come Dan Large once bumped into KRS in a toy shop in Bradford – FACT!). Need to stopcock the violence? He’s your man. Is your water pressure at a ‘Higher Level’ than it should be? Just call the number. Need Economy 7 heating installing? Actually, McBoo and D-Square usually handle that kind of thing. Yep, KRS has picked up the pipe – say no, brother – and is on a crack attack when you’ve got lagging issues. He charges by the hour, plus parts, but the P is still free.
With thanks to our mans Lebs, who says KRS did ‘a bang up job on a replacement boiler for me. He’s got Corgi approval, the lot’.
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4 Responses to "Rapper’s Retirement Homes"
Since he’s known for a bit of Illegal Business he’ll knock you the VAT off on the copper piping gaffled from a site in Warrington but be warned as he’s been known to install the odd Poisonous Products
Less his last few albums have been shit and more his last decade and change has been shit.
apparently, scott la rocks still dead.
On a Health & Safety tip, gas fitters are no longer Corgi approved – its gas safe. Fresh for 86 you suckers!!!!
As I’ve been holed up at the crib raising dem family dem for the last 3 weeks and only allowed out once to interview Raekwon, BDP home jokes anyone?
South Facing Bronx
H.E.A.L. (Human Education Against Lagging)
The Bridging Loan Is Over
Ya Know The House Rules
Step Into A Kitchen (Angel Delight)
The Parking Is Free
A Word From Our Neighbours
13 Square Feet and Good
Stop The Violin Lessons
You Must Learn French
OK, that killed 5 minutes. Now what? Some Harry Hill bullshit.
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