“The Tennis Crack Commandments” (Fat Lace’s top 60 Wimbledon related Hip-Hop puns)
These were left in the comments section of this week’s Rejected Ideas post but they were so good we decided to make them a post of their own. Feel free to leave more in the comments section. Jacko puns will come in a separate post, watch this space…
Steffi Grafh
Rafa NadAlchemist
Nastase Nas
Red Hot Navratilova Tone
Sharapova Cee & Cassanova Rud
Project Pat Cash
John MacDre’n’Z-Ro
Pete SamPras (from The Fugees)
Michael Stic.man
Arthur Asher Rosh
Fred Wreck Perry
Andre the Giant Agassi
Steffi Graf Luva
Tracy Dallas Austin
Pam Ab-Shriver
Yannick Wiz
Hana Mandlik-Hova
Ivan Full of Pakistan Lendl
Scott La Coste
T La Coste
Rod Flava
Stefan Nappy Ed-berg
Mixed Doubles X Posse
HawkI’N’I
New Yak Ballz please
Georgie Stoop Doggy Dogg
Kutmaster Centre Kurt
Godgather WimbleDon
Gats Wilander
Ty (break)
Deuce Crew Dis
The Last Umpirer
Gift Of The Gabriela Sabatini
Robin Sodermistahling* (* Mistah Ling, of course, being the vocalist who provides the ragga interlude on Mad Flava’s Housewreckers)
Craig McEnroe
S1W19’s
Cypress Henman Hill
Samprass Hill
The Henman Hill That’s Real
The Centre Court Is Now In Session
Monie 40-Love (apply to any other Love’s)
Keith Murray Mania
To The East Agassisyyyyyyys
Grand Slam Verbaliser
The Federeration
I Gotcha US Open
Royal Flushing Meadows
The Seed
Deuce Ace Detonator (tuff crew double pun!)
Master Ace
You Chalk Too Much
Byron Black, Rock and Ron
Bobby Jimmy Connors and the Critters
DJ Bjorn Supreme Allah
Boom Biddy Bye Bye (to the fourth round due to injured opponent)
Greg Nice-edski
Chris Evert-Lloydbanks
Billie Jean King Tee
Mr Lawnge Tennis Association
Gerulaitis Up by Li’l Kim
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30 Responses to "“The Tennis Crack Commandments” (Fat Lace’s top 60 Wimbledon related Hip-Hop puns)"
Serve-On
Andrew Castle D
Jazzy Jeff Tarango
Strawberries and C.R.E.A.M.
Pimms And Lemonade Was A Popular Drink And It Still Is
Jamie Delthafunkeeh0mosapiengado
DJ Slice
Lob Swift
Racq(uet) Lo
Consequencechita Martinez
Richard Krajicek-yourself
After The Pat Rafter Comes Tears
Philippousis looking in my window? Blaaowww. Nobody now…
Jim Class Heroes Courier
Award Tauziat
And you thought there were no more…
Notorious BIG – Bjorn Again
OC – Bjorn 2 Live
DJ Bjorn Supreme Allah
Eminem – Stan Smith
The Gangstarr Foundation’s Asu Barker (one for you Drew, lol)
Brand Nubian’s ‘Love Me Or Rod Laver Me Alone’
Da Billie Jean King & I
Greg Rused-Ski
Monica Psycho-Seles
Eric B & Rakim – Deuce (Know The Ledge)
Jimmy Kon And Amirs
Lindsay Davenport Of Miami
Andre Agallahsi
My Uzi Weighs A Lleyton Hewitt
Greg Kool Rock-Ski
Boris Becker To The Grill Again
Venus & Serena Will.I.Ams
Jennifer Peel Their Capriatis Back
Andy MurRay Benzino
This Andy Roddick’s For You (by Geto Boys)
PaTrick Daddy Rafter
Rick Roland GaRoss
Lob Deep
Official Queens Club Murderers
Jennifer CapriParty Arty
Topspin Choice Clique
It Ain’t My Foot Fault
Lil’ Wayne Ferreira
Sue Ma Barker
Chico & CoolRobinson’sBarleyWadda
Young HotRod Laver
Black Moon – Althea Gibson Get Wreck
Michael Chang Starr
Malivai Washington The Nutcracker
Kid & Rain Stopped Play
Chanda Rick Rubin
Fredwreck Perry
LL Cool J – I’m That Type of Guy Forget
BDP – The Todd Woodbridge Is Over
BDP – The Bridge Is Anna Kornikova
BDP – The Bridge Is Maria Sharipova
Juelz Santana Kornikova -Dipset & Match (Santana’s Town)
Yonex n’ Effect – Henin-Hardenne Smooth
Lil’ Kim Clijsters – Hard Court
Nik Bollettieri B – Forehand Swingin’ Wit’ T
Godfather Donnay
DJ Cucumber Forehand Slice
Jadakiss ft. Styles P – Drop Shots Fired
Shawnna – I Was Gettin’ Some Head Equipment
Pat Cash Money & Marvelous
Damn, Richard went in.
Soulja Ball Boy Tell ‘Em
Lil Jon – Net Low
Swang feat Z-Ro and H.A.W.K. Eye
Steady B – You Cannot Be Serious
Game, Set It Off and Match
And Guru’s line in ‘Take It Personal’ (not a pun)…
‘Like racquetball, Tennis, Pool, whatever…’
Pimms C
The Retractible Roof Is On Fire!
Wu Tang Clan – Bring Da Racquets
Keith Murray Mound
Pat Cash Money
Rapidly becoming my favourite post of ours ever. Most comments go uncommented on, but I want to give special personal props to: ‘I’m that type of Guy Forget’, ‘Jennifer CapriParty Arty’, ‘Love me or Rod Laver Me Alone’,
and ‘Jamie Delthafunkeeh0mosapiengado’. We haven’t bled this dry yet.
Red Hot Laver Tone
The Overweight Laver’s in the house
The Cenubites – Rhymes I sniff AKA Carlos Moya died
Chubb Rock – The Juan (Carlos Ferrero)
3rd Bass – The Agassi Face
Cella Dwellas – Mats Wilander of the lost
Jan Area Kodes
Kodes of the street
Arrested Development – Mr Lendl
Ilie Bill
Da Youngstaz Ilie Nastase Funkstaz
ATCQ – Borgin’ Out
Ed Og & Da Bulldogs – Borg-A-Boo
Run DMC – Mary Mary Pierce
Jayo Felony – Safinna shit on ‘em
Pam the Funkstress Shriver
Gimelstob the Violence Movement
Breaking the Illusion – Zvereva or hot cocoa?
3rd Bass – Stefan to the A.M.
Mauresmo Money Mauresmo Problems
Above The Laura Robson
Elena Baltachinyele
Ganxst Jarryd (from Boo Yaa Tribe)
Mr Lendl The Spaceghost
The LTA Madrid Masters Of Ceremony
Mardy Fishscale
Kukoo Da Baga Ballz
The Martina Navratilovaweight Lover’s In The House
Eric B and Rakit
Thomas Musta Rhymes
Paul McNamee, Myself And I
Rhyme Paes*
(Leander Paes, who partnered Martina Navratilova to her last Wimbeldon title in the mixed doubles in 2003)
Someone’s been on wikipedia.
I say again: Kukoo Da Baga Ballz.
Goran IvanEazy-Ezevic – Ball Boyz n’ The Hood
I’ll Tommy Haas You
I’ll Paul Harhuiss You
A Tribe Called Thomas Enqvist- ATP Tour
Zina Garrison, You Gotta Put Me On
Thomas Muster Ace
Jana Novotna Deuce
E-(Love)40 – Captain Natasha Zvereva-Ho
“A Tribe Called Thomas Enqvist.” That’s next level.
Okay, here goes…
Mirnyi Boss Players
Fat Jo (Durie)
I’n'Ai Sugiyama
The Djokovic’s On You Jack
Dr Dre’s The Chroddick
Devin Tha Dudi Sela
Ready Ta Roland Garros
King Just(ine Henin)
The Sue Barka Boyz
Biggest Goran
Zina Garrison, You Gotta Put Me On
PMSL
Roy EmerSon Get Wrec
Louise Brough Gun Clapp
i left my wallet with Arantxa Sánchez Vicario
My Brother My Ace
Brian Teacher Teacher
I’m going to cheat now. Since we know we’re going to go through all this again next week when the Ashes start, let’s call it Wicked When I Cricket, Yeah That’s The Ticket and start early…
Casualties Of Waugh
Lace Da Boons
What You Want Beefy Botham?
I get more props and stunts than Bob Willis
DJ Leg Spinna
DJ Shane Warne Supreme Allah
DV Alias GilKhrist
Glenn McGragallath
J-Dilley
Chris Oldskool
Godfather Don Bradman
Second Slip II None
Slappin’ Suckas Silly Mid-On
Boom Biddy Leg Bye
Talk Like Six
I’ll Hilfenhaus You
Bouncer Ta This
Hit The Hooks Heavy
Ya Pad Chubbs
Dickie Ghetto Bird
Snoop Sloggy Slogg
Goochy Wally
Fight The Gower
Pass The Gatting
I’d also like to add Diamond And The Psychotic New-Roddicks to the tennis one.
Okay, cricket…
Wu-Gangulys
Panesar N Dainja
Lara Professor
Dance Viv Me by Dizzee
Fred Trueman To The Game
Mr Merv-On
Allah U Pollock Bar
Return Of The David Boon Bap
Agallah AKA Flint-Off The Assassin
Khan You Feel It? by Original Concept
Ponting Clan
Crazy About Tendulkars by Doug E. Fresh
Hawkeye Know
Whooooooaaaa. Hold your horses.
Stop right now. This is a Tennis post. Cricket will come very soon and I can’t be arsed to cut and paste all these. So keep em on ice for a minute.
Plus Drew Huge will school you, he’s the Cricket expert.
Any more Tennis? How about…
Stop Djokovicing James
or Andy RoDwyck vs. Wu Tang Clan Ain’t Nothing Fuck Hewitt to keep it topical today.
Big Bank Anke Huber
Masta Ace – Kordahouse
Geto Boys – Grip-Tape It! On That Other Level
Naughty By Nature – Written On Ya Kuerten
Sampras rewind if I haven’t blown your mind
Connivin’ Ivan Lendl
J Beez With The Jeremy (Bates)
Edited for Gimelstob the Violence, which I flipped a couple of days back, not that I expect you to go back and check who’s said what – Drew
Special Edberg ?
How to (Laura) Rob(son)
Everlasting Baseliner
Apache Indian Wells
I have written many comments on the fact that the American commentaters have diahrea of the mouth…… they never shut up…. they talk right thoough the play…. I am forced to keep my sound on mute…… Mary Corello and Martina are the biggest offenders… also the McEnroes and Tracey Austin…….. somebody to tell them to shut up….. we don’t need all that gab about the good old days…….etc……..
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