When we published our last big fuck-off list of rap names for people to buy, we expected our readers to make some more up, but nothing else to come of it. How wrong we were. Instead, we were inundated with offers from big name rap moguls hoping to scoop them up. You know: Lyor, Russell, P, Suge, Rich Black from Pitch Black, that little white boy who did Guesswhyld. All the heavy hitters. In fact, the only one we didn’t sell was ‘Fat Nonce’ but that’s because Fat Nonce himself e-mailed us to tell us he already existed and was promised a guest shot on the next Natural Resource 12″ b-side whenever they decide to reform. So we had to go back to the well and hit you with some more, with some help from our friend Paedo Pete (we keep telling him to change that up, but once a name sticks…). Offers below £5K will be laughed at.
Numpty Nump
DJ Mike Testy
Trigger Finger MC No Gun
MC Rump aka The Annihilisticator aka MC Rump
People Near The Stairs
Brother Angus X
MIc Pisser
Stab C. Rhymesbit
MC Cleft Palate and Lardyman
Definition of Bees
Gabba Benz and Black Jehosephat
The Rhyme Time Cryhme Thyme Mime Dime Fam feat. MC Owl
Blue Black and Black BooBoo
Maestro Fat Les
Shifty Alvin
Corrupt Gordon and Reforming X
Crown Heights Caliphz feat. Shaky Shitstink
The Natasha Vale MC’s
DJ Easy Chins and Ghetto Susan
Stools McGilliCutty and Egyptian Archie
The Chimppzzz
Holdin’ new Cards featuring Old Cards Dispensed With
DJ Q-Ridiculous feat. No Jokes O’Hoolihan
Ball Bouncing Husband and DJ Populous
Rude Gullit
Dah Blayd Runnahz feat. Darren Bent
Furious Bum Skillz
The New York City Sarah Cracknells
New Jeru and Jeru Not-so-new
Blinky Binky Mink, Big Pink and Chintzy Chink
Chugga Boo and DJ Limited
Jew Hater and Gohoyvin O’Mismatched
DJ Student and Prosaic Styles
MC Stillborn and Perineum
Kukoo Da Baga Beez
Fatti Labelle
4 in a room featuring 2 in a room
Murder Martin and M-Squelch
Jimmy Bobby and the Twitters
Loudmouth Quiet and the Oxymoronzzz
Frank’not’Dank
Gurney and the Unpleasant Area Massive
Niggy Nah, Piggy Pah and Big Portion
Swoll Phillip
Capital Stealth Tax
Tony Boilerz
Strap-on Cackalacka
The Threatening 14 MCs
9 responses so far ↓
1 102 names // May 12, 2009 at 5:16 am
The Slightly Peeved 5
The Gift Wrapped 4
MC Woolworth and DJ Zavvi
Spurious Blends
NHS Direcks in Effect
DJ Alzheimer & The Forgetful 5 MC’s
2 brian beck from wisconsin // May 12, 2009 at 5:53 am
To capitalise on the current success of Gucci Mane i’m opening a ____ Mane section for UK rappers based on some brands which have been immensely popular here over the last 25 years :
McKenzie Mane
Nicks Mane
George @ Asda Mane
Primark Mane
Umbro Mane
Naff Naff Mane
Walker trackie bought from Liverpool market in 1986 Mane
Kappa Mane
Matalan Mane
3 102 names // May 12, 2009 at 6:47 am
what about Pony Mane? And it’s a double whammy because ponies do have manes.
and the UK skinny white answer to biggie could call himself…The Nutritionless B.I.G.
4 brian beck from wisconsin // May 12, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Pony actually made a couple of classic hi-tops like the City Wings and the Mcadoo back in the day so i’d class them a good few notches above any of those brands.
5 S to tha Izzo // May 12, 2009 at 5:26 pm
personally Im rolling with Flow Calzaghe and Hustle Brandz
6 Franklin Mint, Last Of The Big Spenders // May 12, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Amazin B. Fresh
HAZMAT
The Rap Lane Meyer
Harvey Stevens
Bigg Dudd
Slipp Diskmann, “Blowin’ backs out since ‘88, yo.”
NASDAQ (on the rapp attack!!)
Cholomite, The Telekinetic MC
7 i the t // May 13, 2009 at 4:16 pm
The Reasonably Skilled 8
MC Adequate
MC Fuckit
The Stale Princess
The ideal Body Mass Index boys
8 Rother Vandross // May 17, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Lawfence Of A Labia
9 omatic // May 18, 2009 at 1:28 am
MC Heroin & The Nod Outs
Get Cheese feat. Big Doodle
Flash Fry & The Greasers (special guest Pony Boy- “Stay Golden”)
Krills & Jum
Harry Bald-Win
MC Gilliam & The Cunts
Fingerless 5 and The Incompetent Klepto’z
DumbAzz and Amnesiatic
Rollback & Price Kut
MC Str8 Broke and The Recessions
Rainczech & Lay Away
DipShit & The Gimps
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