Crap Graf #16


I’m Not Whole by Seymour 125.

D’ya ever get the feeling that something is missing? It could be as you triumphantly emerge 10 lbs lighter from the bathroom after a sphincter-straining dump or it could be that moment of panic you experience as you step off some form of rancid public transport and you think you’ve left your onion bhajis on there even though you ate ‘em all during the journey, but no matter how contented you think you feel, lurking somewhere deep inside is that existential void which quietly burns away at your soul making you feel not quite complete.

Seymour 125 is widely regarded as a deity of dobbers who can whip up a glob of spunk firing, fully formed flying phallus with pubes ‘n’ veins in under 10 seconds and he’ll forever be king of the 8-line, the G-line, the 8Ball & MJG-line, the ghost-yard and the Rhyl Sun Centre car park. But despite the adulation from his peers and the street fame in the crap graf’ game he still feels that abyss in the pit of his stomach us mere paupers experience and just had to express it with this unfinished dobber which is crucially missing any bellend detailing.

The use of silly-string instead of spray paint is a subtle touch in which Seymour makes the point that life is linear like a piece of string and was most definitely not because he had no paint due to his mate Daz 2112 getting caught stuffing a can of CarPlan down the front of his McKenzie trackie bottoms in Halfords before.

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