Crap Graf #10

‘Actual Facts’ by E. Last

Fat Lace recently caught some major flak* from the web browsing community for dissing Everlast and refusing him a Cracker Pass. Motherfuckers, we’re unrepentant. If we liked some ‘wise hobo’ ersatz guitar business, we’d be called ‘Fat Strings’. And if our case against Everlast, or Shitey Ford (yeah, we know it’s clever, thanks) wasn’t watertight enough, here we have evidence of how he conducts his personal beefs in public. Okay, so he fell out with Danny Boy from House of Pain. Who wouldn’t? After all, all he ever actually did was knock around being tall and drinking Mickey’s beer and buying in the Guinness hats for the next video. We’d be mad too. But we wouldn’t daub slurs about him allegedly going down on his missus when she’s got her mucky cunt. If a sidekick somewhat less useful than Sen Dog to the power of Vinny from Naughty chooses to munch his bird when she’s on a blob strop, that’s his business. The fact that Everlast chooses to air this shit in public only reinforces our decision to deny him a Cracker Pass. And you should see what he wrote about DJ Lethal going downtown when his wife had the painters in…


* ‘Major Flak’ on a blog board being represented by inarticulate swearing from 24-year-olds who have 38 records and 2TB of MP3′s ripped at 128kb. They will post their several slightly different comments under different names and with different made-up email addresses even though we can see their IP addresses and know it’s the same cats. We know, because we do this on other blogs. Not that we read other blogs… Fat Lace forever.


10 Responses to "Crap Graf #10"
  1. Reply brian beck from wisconsin May 22, 2008 14:40 pm

    5 rappers who are better than Everlast :

    * Froggy Frog
    * D.O.C post-accident
    * Eli Porter
    * John Barnes
    * Your girlfriend doing oh-so-hilarious “, yo i’ll bust a cap in the cat in the hat” type faux-rapping when you’re trying to listen to Steady Mobbin’ in the car

  2. Reply bse May 22, 2008 19:38 pm

    I like one Everlast thing… that cop track off the second Prince Paul album. That was, as they say in Irish pubs in America, hot shite yo.

    Is Brian Beck from wisconsin really from wisconsin?

  3. Reply salvador darlo May 23, 2008 04:18 am

    * Your girlfriend doing oh-so-hilarious “, yo i’ll bust a cap in the cat in the hat” type faux-rapping when you’re trying to listen to Steady Mobbin’ in the car

    ^lol

    Has Eli Porter become the Joey Deacon for the hip-hop blogging generation?

    By the way, if anyone here’s up on Huntsville Alabama’s Paper Route Recordz (aka the new Swishahouse) – then you’ll already know this mix is for you:

    http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6G7L254C

    Lovers of UGK, early Outkast, Cash Money etc.and general Down South gulliness will not be disappointed. Features ‘Woodgrain’, ‘Bama Gettin Money’, ‘Rollin’ and all the rest of the crazy-ass Robert Miles and Poltergeist sampling madness.

  4. Reply Painface May 23, 2008 10:36 am

    Other rappers better than Everlast:

    - Devastatin’ Dave
    - A geriatric Whodini on those depressing comeback tours (circa 2005).
    - The worst rapper you can think of, anyone, just name one
    - Ice T on ‘Home Invasion’
    - Rahmelzee
    - Shaquille O’Neal
    - Everyone’s Mum

  5. Reply Franklin Mint, Last Of The Big Spenders May 23, 2008 13:09 pm

    More rappers better than Everlast:

    Poochy from the Simpsons
    Tarrie B
    The chick from “Teenage Witch”
    Michael BRIX Bambrick

    Better guitar player……

    Weezy F. Baby at the end of the “Leather So Soft” video. Straight ‘Nolia shredding

  6. Reply brian beck from wisconsin May 23, 2008 14:00 pm

    Murder She Wrote by Tairrie B is precisely a billion times better than anything Everlast will ever do and that’s not even factoring in that Eazy was fully Dickies and Raiders geared up lounging by the pool with some scantily clad hoes in the video.

    Darlo – could i get a full tracklisting on that mix?

  7. Reply salvador darlo May 23, 2008 19:42 pm

    No probs Brian – will hit you with one after the weekend – got it on my other computer

  8. Reply salvador darlo May 26, 2008 08:23 am

    Hey Brian – here ya go

    ‘Huntsville Hollabama Vol. 1’ – Compiled and Mixed by Rob Breezy for Southern Hospitality

    1. ‘Bama Gettin’ Money’ – Paper Route Gangstaz
    2. ‘Big Bodies Big Wheels’ – Slow Motion Soundz
    3. ‘Soul Glo’ – Hood Headlinerz feat. Lil St. Louis
    4. ‘Bubble Or Box’ – Chico, Dawgy Baggz, Technique, Jhi Ali, Big P.O.P.E. & D. Hewitt
    5. ‘Natural’ – Slow Motion Soundz
    6. ‘Naturals II’ – Slow Motion Soundz
    7. ‘Wood Grain’ – Paper Route Gangstaz
    8. ‘Rollin’ – Jackie Chain & Jhi Ali
    9. ‘All Gets Old’ – Jhi Ali
    10. ‘Grind Baby’ – X.O. feat. CeeCee
    11. ‘Ice Kisses’ – G-Side feat. Adrienne
    12. ‘Lacs and Prices (RMX)’ – Slow Motion Soundz feat. T.I.
    13. ‘Blinded By The Light’ – Jackie Chain
    14. ‘The Streets’ – Mata
    15. ‘Do My Thing’ – G-Side
    16. ‘Alabama’ – Jhi Ali
    17. ‘Bama Gettin’ Money (Diplo Remix)’ – Paper Route Gangstaz

  9. Reply End Level Boss May 26, 2008 18:46 pm

    Five more rappers better than Everlast:

    1. That old lady that did a remake of ‘Rappers Delight’.
    2. Blondie.
    3. Weird Al Yankovic.
    4. MC Miker G.
    5. DJ Sven.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGe_qhy8NXU

  10. Reply brian beck from wisconsin May 26, 2008 21:21 pm

    Thanks, Darlo.

    Great mix. Only knew a couple of the tracks beforehand.

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