The Adventures Of Ghostface #5
With Ghostface – or his doll likeness, which is the same thing – currently everywhere promoting both his own ‘Big Doe Rehab’ and the Wu’s ’8 Diagrams’, it’s unsurprising that he’s even gone so far as to throw his hat into the ring for the vacant England Manager’s (sorry, ‘England Head Coach’ as we’re now supposed to call it, as if indulging in pointless semantic polishing will bring success) job. At a hastily assembled press conference, he announced that he had approached FA Chief Brian Barwick, and was the man to take, we quote, “Englandshire to the 2010 USA Champion’s Cup Playoffs”. A mere publicity stunt? No, he’s dead serious like Das. “When I’m the coach, we’ll do away with the old 4-4-2 and play an experimental 7-1-8 formation. I’m going to stick with Scott ‘La Rock’ Carson in nets, and bring David Beck ‘em-Down back as captain. But I don’t see a role for Shaun A’ight Phillips, and for Wayne, the Bridge is definitely over. Also, Shawn Wigs will be playing because he is my mate.” Steve ‘Malcolm’ McLaren was unavailable for comment.
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9 Responses to "The Adventures Of Ghostface #5"
..and you know Ghost is gonna pick Theodore “Unit” Walcott every game too.
Harry Redman definately isn’t the man for the job now after yesterdays events. Mourinho? mo’ problems i reckon and even with David “Mike” Dein gone there’s no way they can snag Arsonists Wenger away from the Eminemirates.
I say the F.A should just get Cappellodonna since he wants the job and is a strong enough personality to deal with all the egos in the England camp.
It’s the team i worry about, though. Where are the youngsters coming through who are as talented as, say, Fabolousregras or Teflonvez? Sure, there’s Lil’ Wayne Rooney and Mikah9 Richards but what about the rest of ‘em?
And can they actually gel as a team and play to tactics? I’m sick mundane Z-Ro – Z-Ro scorelines. Where’s the Method, Man?
Trae bien, Mr Beck!
Before that now infamous game against Croatia Steve Mc(Dre)laren took the team to the Yay Area to visit the Oakland Raiders stadium where he gave them a special Turf Talk on the E40-4-2 formation so England could B a Legit contender for the european tournament.
But things didn’t go quite to plan because every time Mc(Dre)laren tried to get the team to partake in a light training exercise Jacka Charlton and Hus(alah) Hiddink kept distracting the team with Job Figaz and talk of Fed Exing team members who weren’t pulling their weight their A.P45s.
Um lampard um lampard um cole cole lampard
Anywho, as i was saying : England seem to play very Casual. They need to develop a more high tempo method of play and Stick Wid It.
Whoever the next manager is he needs to get a video of F.C Bogmarsh getting thrashed and tell them that you don’t play like THAT, you play like THIZZ and then play some footage of the 1970 Brazil team.
Hell, if that fails just play like Chelsea under Jose Mourinho or Bolton under Sam AlKaponeadyce with long balls because currently their game is just Too Short.
It’s the fault of all the outside influences on footballers so i sugesst we Keak all The Sneeker endorsements from Nike, Adidas and Reebok to the curb or Lampard and Gerrard will end up playing in some two-bit Federation like Beckham.
Brian killed it with that Mike Dean reference – seriously.
The Fat Lace Dean’s List awaits you sir.
This squad is always hyped up in the papers though, and to be honest, there ain’t much chance of them living up to Bobby Moore-Money-Moore-Problems, Def Jef Hurst, Nobby Styles-P, Gordon Big-Banks-Hanks, Alan 8-Ball and the rest of them…
Damn, Brian is on fire.
Thank you Brian, you’ve made a call centre job a little bit easier.
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